Breakup Letters

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funny breakup letters:

breakup letters

Question by jakee: My GF breakup letter?
I like her a heaps much and if she thought the same of me i would love her but she has lost interest in me very fast I guess. She doesn’t want to end it because she doesn’t know how to say it to me nicely and all so i guess I’ll give her the option to? Here it is, so do you think its good?

“Obviously you’re interest in me has faded and I clearly see that. I just want to thank you for the awesome time you gave me these past months and I enjoyed every second I spent with you. This past summer was probably one of my favorites just because you were in it and I had such a good time. I can’t break up with you because you are the type of girl I always dreamt for, you know, the one who’s extremely funny, smart, and athletic and has an amazing personality, and for my dream girlfriend being my first I was left in awe. But I only want what you want, so if you want to call it, just call it. ”

Best answer:

Answer by AnsoLobo
Thats perfect. Great writing.

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breakup letters

funny breakup letters:

breakup letters

youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons.ytmnd.com
Video Rating: 4 / 5

funny breakup letters:

breakup letters

and now, a dramatic reading from the real break up letter guy… me… hi. Dear Losers~~[including Chris i guess] I know you like me, I’ve seen it myself. I Thank You! People only say you watched the clip because you needed a break from your day, and that after you watched you would dump me. Well guess what basterts. I dumped you cuz you were thinking that I cheat on the internets, I didn’t, So like idiots that you guys are and so smart that you are you called me a slut I’ve been hung up on this for a while cause you tol me it in my comments because I guess you weren’t men enough to tell me it in my face. I hate you, and also guess what my mother hates the site too that she the one who brought me up to do this. I’d like to eat breakfast every morning and I aint stupid, You try to rip me off and my bad voice acting that is only 7YRS old makes you sound dumb too and I don’t even know why you did it and I have to go block some ones chair HAHA! I went out with another website after you and after I came back over, you an idiot dared you even tried to put me on blast on youtube again I didn’t give permission to you OK! I hate you Ive always hated you spreading my shit everywhere and making me look like I cheated at the internets when you just got jealouse that I cant pronounce some words right to your so G-Louse you automatically think I’m retarded well guess maybe i am maybe I’m not got a problem you aint my top friend anymore I don’t have to go back and fix what I don’t like …
Video Rating: 4 / 5

funny breakup letters:

breakup letters

roxxenator’s video twice as fast (and maybe 2wice as funny…)

funny breakup letters:

breakup letters

i raised the pitch because if i just made it faster it would be kinda boring. anyway subscribe rate and comment Dramatic reading of a breakup letter artist:unknown

funny breakup letters:

breakup letters

Question by Squirrel cage: Are you a victim of a bad breakup? If so, what funny pranks would you like to see played on your former love?
I for one would like to have an envelope addressed to her with the return address saying in BIG BOLD LETTERS,

HERPES TEST RESULTS

confidential

Best answer:

Answer by Bitch I Might Be
for Publishers Clearing house to knock on my door,they’d be pissed

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breakup letters

funny breakup letters:

breakup letters

Question by LeAnn: Guys! Read my breakup letter 2 him need opinion?
Would this make you cry or do i need to be worse than this? i need honest opinions. i want it to hurt him. He said “I love you Mariah, i cant wait for you to be my wife” My name is leanna and im about to sell the pos ring. And then told me I was crazy when i said wtf did u just say? I calmly got up and left and now I wish someone would chop his nuts off then his ex emailed me claiming they were doin the dirty. he left messages saying it was an accident he loves me hes sorry etc… anyways its titled To the #1 Douchebag, and its now a bulletin on myspace. If u loved me would this hurt you enough? I personally think its funny.

I previously deleted this bulletin because I was thinking it was a little heartless, you know letting everyone on myspace read my break up letter to you. But now I really don’t give a fuck about your feelings. And everyone on here would expect nothing less than for me to be a cold hearted icy bitch.

Crazy? Me? No.. I’m the CRAZIEST bitch you will ever fucking meet .
I hope you enjoyed the sound of my phone breaking in your ear just now. I throw people off of buildings as well, and i enjoy it very much. Next time someone tells you to loose their number i hope you listen to them. You will be one sorry ass motherfucker, Mike. I promise you that.

P.S. I’m going to put a camel spider in your fucking burritto. I opened a new business, I now breed camel spiders and teach them to attack douchebags like you.
I hope a family of camel spiders lives in your cereal box, and the baby camel spider crawls into your ear, screams at you and lays eggs in your fucking brain. Then the daddy camel spider is going to chase you while the mommy camel spider fucking eats you. And I hope all you do is dream about fucking camel spiders eating you. And when you do find these spiders living in your brain and in your cereal box, i really hope you think of me.

And one more thing, your little Meriah looks like a motherfucking platapuss. And my camel spiders are going to eat her too.

Well here is your letter #1 Douchebag.

Dear Fuck Face,

I am pleased to be writing you this letter, and I hope you read it over and over and never call me again. This break up letter is difficult for me, but I guess I owe you something. Even if you haven’t realized it, we both know that our relationship has been over for some time. It’s just not working anymore. Why? I can’t stand you anymore. I sort of blame myself – no, actually, I blame you entirely. Ever since you made that mistake, I’ve been desperate to end things.You know what I’m talking about. i really haven’t enjoyed the time we have spent together. Anyways, my self respect prevents me from continuing this relationship with you. Aside from your obvious character flaws, I hate the way you still listen to Hanson. Please, couldn’t it have been anyone but Hanson? Our relationship was just never meant to be. But you do have some redeeming qualities. Anyway, that’s history. You’ll get over me soon enough – I’m already over you. I’ll always remember you as the person you just are.

All I can say is that I really hope you never contact me again, and good luck – you’re going to need it.

the rings.. i gave them to a monkey at the zoo. Have a nice life.

With all my heart,
The person who just uploaded nude photos of you to Flickr and the craziest bitch you will ever meet.

I hope you choke on that camel spider I put in your burritto.
Is it immature cassie? Or is it more mature to lie about everything even stuff that doesnt matter for 3 years? And blame me in the end AND give the x my number so she can obsessivly call me phone and yell like a child? Its pretty hurtful. I havent even answered just listened to the messages.
the night b4 we were at dinner and the “incident” happened he had a dream that he was being chased and hunted by a camel spider.
And for you rude commenters i dont want to hear hus voice it makes me really sick and angry, and he seriously has made my mailbox full 7 times today. So far 189 missed calls and like 500 texts the phone wont accept more cuz its full.
He still really listens to Hanson in the car. Hes 25 im 23, its not something i made up. it hella annoys me.

Best answer:

Answer by Madison
umm.. you go girl?

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breakup letters

breakup letters breakup letters

a very funny boy reading a real breakup letter. it’s pretty entertaining :]

breakup letters breakup letters

Text: Dear Loser,[Chris]~~~~!!!!! I thought you liked me you said it yourself I hate you .People only say you asked me out because you needed a date for the dance and that after the dance you would dump me well guess what bastert i dumped you cause you were thinking that i cheated on you i didnt so like idiots that you guys are and so smart that you are you called me a slut.I hung up on you cause you tol me it on the phone because i guess you werent man enough to tell me it in my face!I hate you and also guess what my mother hates you to that she the one who put me to do this ,you come to breakfast every morning and I aint stupid you try to sit next to me and my lil bro who only 7YRS old hates you to and dont even know what you did and is always blocking your chair.haha!I went out with another boy after you and after we were over you an idiot dared you even tried to ask me out again i didnt break up with him for you OK! I hate you ive always hated you spreading to everyone that i cheated on you when you just got jealouse that i used to talk to your friends to your so jealouse you automatically think i like them well guess maybe i do maybe i dont gotta problem you aint my boyfriend anymore I dont have to tell you who i like or who iam with and why got it i dont like you anymore the other day you told me that I have to tell you who I like or who Iam thinking of going out with its none of your buisness got that to you loser!I hate you and I know you still like me but i dont …